When 2+ 2 does NOT equal 4…Beliefs vs Behavior

I love picking people’s brains (and emotions) to engage in stimulating conversation. How do you (or have you, or would you) handle a situation in which your beliefs and potential behavior may not agree?  For example, if you believe sex outside of marriage is morally wrong or a sin, do you give condoms or a safe sex talk to your child who has told you she/he is sexually active?  If you believe heroin use is vile, do you condone the passing out of clean needles to addicts? What if the addict is your sibling? Your parent?  Do your beliefs outweigh the behavior to do what you can to try and keep someone safe who is engaging in a particular behavior anyway? If you find homosexuality despicable and condemnable, and a gay coworker asks you to attend, or a family member asks you to be a part of a wedding party, do you oblige? Does your stance on homosexuality outweigh your relationship with your coworker or loved one?  What do you choose and why?  Let’s talk about it.


12 thoughts on “When 2+ 2 does NOT equal 4…Beliefs vs Behavior

  1. The only way to get 2+2 to equal 4 is in math, in life nothing ever adds up, for as many people as you can interview you will find a different response. Now as for me I have found my views on many things are in a constant state of flux. The things I thought I beleived in, while in my 20’s , I no longer beleive in my 50’s. Its like this we are shaped by our experiences , so to take a hard stance against anything makes no sense and is truely not God like ( I can feel the hairs on your back standing up) God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for her peoples activity, yet today, we are far worst and here we stand. So you say “we live under grace” which tells me God himself does not condone the behavior of his creation but he does understand it; who are we then to cast our judgement upon such behavior, we are to help where we can, which is why God put you in that situation, so you might grow, as God himself grew. (Uh-oh). Love is the greatest of all and Love will cause you to change and if you can not change, are you being God like. Go to that wedding, hand out those needle or condom show love, you might just change or even save a life (soul).

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    1. Thanks for chiming in Fitzgerald. You raise some interesting points: “to take a hard stance against anything makes no sense and is not God like”? While I can’t say I agree with that sentiment, your expression is valued and appreciated. In my opinion, some things are hard-stance situations. Also, I’m not clear about your point that God grew. You seem like a very out-of-the-box thinker and that really opens our minds to explore perspectives we may not have otherwise considered. So thanks, and keep it coming!

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  2. A lot of things are going to happen in life whether we believe in it/support it or not. I think education plays a huge role in situations like these. If a young girl has decided to have sex at an early age. I could preach abstinence (and I would at first) but I know the reality of the situation. And the reality is, if I don’t educate this young lady about sex (the emotional aspect, STI’s, pregnancy, etc) she may learn the hard way, she may learn from someone who doesn’t have her best interest at heart OR she may never learn at all.
    I participated in a needle exchange program a few years back. The goal wasn’t to just give away free needles to addicts. The goal was to build relationships with these people so that eventually, we could offer some type of help as far as recovery.
    Abortion is also a big one. Whether I support abortions or not, I support the well-being of others first. I’d much rather a woman walk into a clean doctors office to receive this procedure then to read about her dying from an infection she got while trying to do one herself or by someone she found online
    You can support someone and still maintain your own set of beliefs. It’s about compassion and understanding, because like one commenter said WHO AM I TO JUDGE?… but hey that’s just me

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    1. Anonymous you make a great point in that we can be supportive of, and compassionate toward others, while still holding firm to our beliefs and convictions. It is interesting that during his 33 years on Earth, we don’t read/hear stories about Jesus hanging with pious, religious, “holy” people. Instead, he dined and fellowshipped with adulteresses, prostitutes, thieves, lepers, and other social outcasts. Who more that Jesus Christ had convictions perfectly aligned with God’s Word? Despite being fully God and fully human, Jesus demonstrated compassion and love. I had a telephone conversation earlier today with someone who was saying the lines can get blurred between helping and enabling when doing things like passing out needles. I agreed, and told that person it can be shaky ground morally speaking. While nobody wants to ENCOURAGE drug use, I would think everybody would want to decrease the risk of disease and death by offering a clean needle in order to prevent use of a contaminated one. I don’t have the answers, which is why I’m so grateful to responders like all of you who provide perspective and insight to these interesting (and very real) topics. Thanks for chiming in.

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  3. I had to think long and hard about this one. I would give my son condoms because I know in this day and age what can happen even if they try it once. My 14 year old step-son is proof of that he allowed an older girl to talk him into it and she got pregnant by him. He never thought in a million years he would get someone pregnant his first time. In regards to same sex marriage I don’t have to answer for that they do. If someone that I cared about asked me to participate I believe I could do it even though that is not the lifestyle I choose to live.

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    1. KC your insight and perspective are very much appreciated. Let me ask you to respond to a question if you don’t mind. What would you say to the person who says you are encouraging your child to have sex by providing a condom? What about a drug user and the agencies which provide clean needles? Are the agencies wrong and promoting drug abuse, or are they helping prevent disease, or both?

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  4. My opinion on this topic is who am I to judge. I’m VERY open minded on these topics I don’t walk in any of these people’s shoes I don’t know their struggles as far as the homosexuality issue I know a lot of people struggle with acceptance with this and some turn to suicide which I would never want on my conscience as being a part of their life and not having someone to turn to same with addiction I believe strongly it’s a disease. I would rather keep my loved one safe than to bash and turn my back on them support is a powerful thing when one is in need.

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    1. Mzz. V that is very insightful and the comment is very much appreciated. All are difficult positions and each person has to do what is best for them. Me? I going to usually go with relationship over rules. Good stuff

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  5. Man oh man this is a good one because although I would rather my kids wait until they are married to have sex. Reality says none of them have waited and neither did I. With that being said I would rather give a male condoms to protect himself from disease and unwanted babies and I would rather suggest birth control and the use of condoms to a girl to protect her from an unwanted pregnancy and disease if she has admitted she is sexually active. Does that make me a bad Christian? Some would say yes but I say absolutely not.
    Now that other subject, “She wasn’t ready” lol. I would have a hard time being in a wedding of a gay co-worker or family member. Real talk, i’m just not ready. I honestly just told my daughter tonight, I’m just not ready for same sex marriage. Now on the other hand because I did read an article where a woman refused to make a wedding cake for a guy couple. I disagreed with her decision. I would have made the cake, I think. Is that wrong?

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    1. Denise that is great feedback. You pose a really interesting question. I was talking just last night with someone who also does events and she said her husband asked her about doing an event for a gay couple and she would not, because it goes against her beliefs and all money is not good money. Me? I see money like a hammer or a knife, it is a tool and neither good or bad itself, but rather how we acquite or use it is good or bad. If I rob others for money my opinion is that is wrong. If I use money to fund terrorist activities, I think that is wrong. Making a cake or doing an event, I don’t know that is condoning the actions or just working your business. Business owners have the right to refuse services as they see fit – it was done to Blacks in this country until very recently. Good conversation.

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  6. Whoa. This is a tough one author. Lol. I don’t even know where to start with one bc it differs with each situation. Example.. If I know my son is sexually active even tho I am against it, I’m on the fence of providing him with condoms, bc I feel like that gas giving him permission to engage in sex. However… Talking about the consequences of having sex and using proper protection can prevent thing from happening bc let’s face it… They are going to do it anyway.

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    1. Eb, thank you for the feedback. I’m glad this is a tough one, because it forces us to think. I had a conversation with someone who loves me to LIFE, she would be first in one with my bail money if I needed it, but she told me she would not be in or attend my wedding if I were gay. She is that strong with her conviction and belief. For me, I think my belief is able to remain intact and I still support a friend or loved one who does something against my belief. Regarding the sexually active child, I learned about that the hard, the HARDEST way. My beliefs cost my child and family a HUGE health scare because I would not “participate” in her decision to have sex.

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