People have said that love is not supposed to hurt. I beg to differ. I have come to learn, through experience, that love frequently hurts. In fact, the harder the love, the more hurt and pain are felt. My children entered this world through a process which was filled with both abundant love and excruciating physical pain. As they grew up, the disappointments they experienced hurt me has much, no, MORE than them, because my love for my children wanted to rescue them from their difficult experiences.
One of the most painful expressions of love is when we have to let go. When we lose a loved one to death, it is painful, because of our love for that person. The loss should be painful since that person meant something to us. If the loss did not hurt I would argue that there may not have been much depth to that relationship. We tend to not miss or grieve that which is not important to us.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that because of our love for someone, we may need to let them go – at least loosen our hold. We enjoy holding close those from whom we derive joy, pleasure and happiness. However, if our relationship interferes with someone’s marriage, grades, or finances due to talking/texting, hanging out, or shopping for example, then despite our intent or perspective, we must love that person and be selfless enough to release that relationship: that hurts! But real love rejoices, even through the pain, of watching the released one take flight and soar. Real love will never want to interfere or cause detriment to a marriage, financial, or other situation. Love should hurt if it is real, but it should NEVER be selfish.