As children, when there is an “ouch”, a “boo boo”, or a “hurt”, we are often satisfied with a kiss and a Band Aid applied to the (real or imagined) injury. As adults, we can only wish the application of a Band Aid would take the “ouch” away.
How much more is that true when the injury is not a physical one, but rather an emotional one? Specifically, a breach of trust. It can be crushing to have a spouse, child, parent, or friend betray us. Even more painful than the betrayal are the lies that come from the offender once confronted. It is both cruel and cowardly to add insult to injury by not giving the wronged person the dignity of being honest.
Distrust and betrayal are poison to a relationship. When the betrayer tries to act as if there was no offense, buy material possessions, or do anything other than be honest – it is the equivalent of applying a Band Aid to treat a cancer: it is ridiculously ineffective! It hurts very much to ask a person something when you have proof of the answer, only to be lied to and further deceived and betrayed. The message is that the initial betrayal in more important than restoration and repair of the breach. Continued lies spread poison into the relationship, and no Band Aid in the world can heal that…it only provides a thin covering. Only the scalpel of truth can remove that poison. May we all find the courage to heal.