As children, when there is an “ouch”, a “boo boo”, or a “hurt”, we are often satisfied with a kiss and a Band Aid applied to the (real or imagined) injury. As adults, we can only wish the application of a Band Aid would take the “ouch” away.
How much more is that true when the injury is not a physical one, but rather an emotional one? Specifically, a breach of trust. It can be crushing to have a spouse, child, parent, or friend betray us. Even more painful than the betrayal are the lies that come from the offender once confronted. It is both cruel and cowardly to add insult to injury by not giving the wronged person the dignity of being honest.
Distrust and betrayal are poison to a relationship. When the betrayer tries to act as if there was no offense, buy material possessions, or do anything other than be honest – it is the equivalent of applying a Band Aid to treat a cancer: it is ridiculously ineffective! It hurts very much to ask a person something when you have proof of the answer, only to be lied to and further deceived and betrayed. The message is that the initial betrayal in more important than restoration and repair of the breach. Continued lies spread poison into the relationship, and no Band Aid in the world can heal that…it only provides a thin covering. Only the scalpel of truth can remove that poison. May we all find the courage to heal.
3 thoughts on “Band Aids Don’t Cure, They Cover”
I can relate to this and oh my. I was married to a man that actually had a baby outside of our marriage he originally said it didn’t happen then I pulled out WTF??? Everything that came out of his mouth was a LIE even after we were divorced. My next relationship no babies but still LIES and this time around my heart is cold I guess you can say. I love but don’t trust and I know when I get expensive gifts what it is. I don’t walk around looking for things but if you’ve been hurt you know what to look for unless you are pretending. I believe the lies that come after are the worse because they don’t stop. You probably didn’t want my life story but I have dealt with this way too many times in my life. A band-aid will never heal my heart.
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Your comment is VERY much appreciated and unfortunately all too relatable. I have a question for you dear reader. Is the lack of trust to all people you have entered a relationship with after your first husband? Or was it toward the husband and other person who lied to you? Do all others have to pay for the lies of the one who betrayed you then lied? I imagine it’s hard not to have carryover.
I give everyone a chance no matter what but once someone takes advantage of your heart and your trust you can never get that back. A lie turns into another lie. Even if you forgive it is always still there in the back of your mind even though you never say it. We try to move forward but most people don’t respect what they are jeopardizing until it is to late and that is the problem. I have learned to love certain people from a distance. Once I’m there with you we can never go back to how things were.
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